Billy Bunny and Uncle Bull Frog Page 4

  And then they all sat down and told funny stories, and Billy Bunnysang a song that went something like this, only much nicer, but Ican't quite remember it all:

  "Oh, you're a raggerty, taggerty man, In a castle big and old, And I'm a Billy Bunny boy With a heart that's brave and bold. You can't scare me with your thunder laugh Or your club like a telegraph pole, So you'd better allow the Tailor Bird To sew up each raggerty hole."

  And then the Tailor Bird commenced and it took him until half-pastfourteen o'clock to mend that Giant Rabbit's clothes. "I might just aswell have made you a new suit," he said, as the last inch of themile-long spool of thread was used up. "I declare I never had such ajob before."

  And I guess he spoke the truth, for I never met a Giant Rabbit in mytailor's shop, although I once had a giant bill from my tailor.

  STORY XX.

  BILLY BUNNY AND PARSON CROW.

  Well, after the Tailor Bird got his money from the Ragged Giant Rabbitfor mending his clothes, he thanked Billy Bunny and Uncle Lucky andsaid he must be going for he had to make a suit of clothes right awayfor Parson Crow.

  "If you'll wait a minute you can go with us," said kind Uncle Lucky;"we'll take you home in the automobile."

  Of course the Tailor Bird was only too anxious to get a ride, althoughhe did have a good pair of wings. But the needle was pretty heavy and,anyway, Tailor Birds don't often have the opportunity to ride inautomobiles.

  Well, after a little ways, not so very far, the Luckymobile came to astop and, of course, Billy Bunny had to get out to see what was thematter, and he hunted and hunted all over the machine, but couldn'tfind out what was wrong. By and by he saw one of the numbers haddropped off the little license plate that hung down from the rearaxle.

  So he hopped back, and by and by, just as he was going to give uplooking for it, Parson Crow flew by, and when he saw Billy Bunny hestopped and said: "What are you looking for, little rabbit?"

  And when Billy Bunny told him, he took the number 7 out of his pocketand handed it to the little bunny. "Here's your number," cawed theblack crow, although I never heard of a white one except once, andthat was a bad bird who had been whitewashed by a colored painterbecause he ate up all the corn.

  "That's my lucky number," said Billy Bunny. And then the crow said ina mournful voice:

  "It's mine, too, and I just hate to give it up."

  "Well, if you can get me another number, I don't care if you keep it,"said the little rabbit. And then what do you think that crow did? Why,he got a nice smooth little chip and made a lovely number 3 on it witha red pencil and handed it to the little rabbit.

  And as soon as he had tied it on the Luckymobile, would you believe itif I didn't say so, that Luckymobile started to go all by itself. Andif Billy Bunny hadn't been mighty quick he would have been leftbehind.

  "Where are you two rabbits going?" asked the crow as he flew alongsideof the Luckymobile. "Because if you are not in a hurry, why don't youcome with me to the meeting house to-night and hear me preach?"

  "We will," said kind Uncle Lucky, "and I'll drop a carrot cent in thecollection box if you want me to." So after a while they stopped neara tall pine tree and Parson Crow sat on a limb and waited for all thelittle people of the forest to come to the meeting. Well, after theywere all there, he began:

  "Now, listen to the words I say, And do your duty every day. Be always good and most polite And do the things you know are right. Oh, never say an angry word To any animal or bird, So when the night comes 'twill be good To feel you've done the best you could."

  And after that Uncle Lucky dropped a carrot dollar in the collectionbox and drove home with Billy Bunny.

  STORY XXI.

  BILLY BUNNY AND JACK-IN-THE-BOX.

  Oh, I'm a rollicking Jack-in-the-Box, And I'm not afraid of a bear or a fox, For every one's scared when up I pop, And the little girl cries, "Oh, stop! oh, stop!" I'm the bravest thing you ever saw, I'm not afraid of my Mother-in-Law!

  Well, sir, I suppose you'll think Billy Bunny was frightened and thatUncle Lucky lost his breath and the automobile a tire. But nothing ofthe sort happened. Instead, the old gentleman rabbit laughed so hardthat his collar button fell out and it took him fifteen minutes andhalf an hour to find it. And then he never would have if theJack-in-the-Box hadn't seen it first. And where do you suppose thatex-as-per-a-ting, which means teasing, button was? You'd never guess,so I'll have to tell you without asking you again.

  It was in the old gentleman rabbit's waistcoat pocket where he kepthis gold watch and chain and pocket knife and pencil with a rubber onthe end and a toothpick.

  "How did you see it pop into my pocket?" he asked the Jack-in-the-Box."I'll never tell you," said the Jack-in-the-Box, "but what does thatmatter? You've found your collar button, and that's enough."

  "If I come across your cousin Jack-in-the-Pulpit," said Uncle Lucky,after he had buttoned up his collar and wound his watch, "I'll tellhim how kind you were to find my collar button for me," and then theold gentleman rabbit took off his old wedding stovepipe hat and bowedto the Jack-in-the-Box and drove away in the Luckmobile down the road,and when he came to a bridge he said to his little nephew, "Do youthink we're on the right road?"

  "I don't remember this bridge, do you?" And then a voice cried out,"Don't be anxious, Mr. Lucky Lefthindfoot. This is the road toLettuceville.

  "Keep right on after you cross the bridge until you come to a littlered schoolhouse and then turn to your left and then turn to your rightand if you don't get home until morning you've made a mistake."

  "Thank you," said Uncle Lucky. "And if I make a mistake I'll come backand give you a scolding," and after that they crossed the bridge, andjust as they came to the first turn in the road they heard a dreadfulloud noise in the woods close by.

  "What's that?" asked Billy Bunny, and he turned up his left ear andhis coat collar so that he could hear better.

  "It's an old friend of yours," answered a deep growly kind of a voice,and before the two rabbits could wonder who it was their friend, thegood-natured bear jumped out of the bushes.

  "Take me with you, please," he said, "for I've run a splinter in myfoot and it hurts me to walk." And in the next story you shall hear ofanother adventure which the two little rabbits had.

  STORY XXII.

  BILLY BUNNY AND DR. DUCK.

  You remember in the last story how the good-natured bear asked BillyBunny and Uncle Lucky to give him a ride in the Luckymobile because hehad run a splinter in his foot.

  Well, as soon as he had climbed into the automobile, and it took himalmost 23 1/2 seconds to do it, for the splinter was so long that itcaught on the door, Uncle Lucky started off and by and by they came tothe house where the good Duck Doctor lived.--Dr. Quack, you remember.

  "Now, I'll go in and get him to come out and look at your splinter,"said Billy Bunny, as he hopped out of the Luckymobile and rang thefront door bell, and in a minute, less or more, a nice looking ladyduck came out and said, "The Doctor is away on his vacation. He's goneto the Lily Pond for two weeks. But you can call him up on thetelephone if you like. The number is Waterville, 2 3 umpty eleven."

  So the little rabbit called up the number and when the doctor heardwhat was the matter, he said, "You had better come to see me.

  "You have the automobile right there, and it's a dangerous thing tohave so large a splinter as that. Tell Mr. Bear he'll have a dreadfulcorn if it isn't taken out at once."

  So they all hurried away and pretty soon they came to Lily Pond, andthere was Dr. Duck swimming around among the pond lilies and thefrogs, having a lovely time. And wasn't he sunburnt? Well, I shouldsay he was. His bill was as dark as a little brown berry and his nosewas as red as a little choke cherry.

  "That looks very serious to me," said he, putting on his glasses andlooking at Mr. Bear's injured feet. "I'll have to get a saw and cutoff your foot." And then Mr. Bear gave a dreadful howl. "Oh, pleasedon't saw
off my foot. It's sore enough already."

  "I didn't mean to saw off your foot," said Dr. Duck. "Did I say that?I mean to saw off the splinter and then put on a poultice and draw outthe pain."

  Well, it took a long time to do all that, and the poor Bear criedseveral times, for it hurt the splinter dreadfully, you know, to besawed off that way. But by and by the poultice began to draw, andpretty soon out came the splinter, and Mr. Bear felt ever so muchbetter. That is, until the doctor said, "It will cost you a milliondollars, for that was a very serious operation."

  "I've never even seen a million dollars," said the Bear. "Nor even amillion cents. You'll have to mail me a corrected bill," and then hejumped into the automobile and asked Uncle Lucky to drive away.

  "Stop, stop!" cried the Duck Doctor, but Uncle Lucky paid no attentionto him, any more than the Bear paid the bill. "You send a correctedbill to my friend," said the old gentleman rabbit. "And, mind you, youhad better correct it three times and a half if you ever want itpaid."

  And in the next story you shall hear of an exciting adventure whichthe two little rabbits had with a fretful porcupine.

  STORY XXIII.

  BUNNY AND THE FRETFUL PORCUPINE.

  Oh, never tease a porcupine, For reasons I'll relate, He's like a cushion full of pins That stand out stiff and straight. And if you stand too close I know He'll stick one in your little toe.

  Well, that's just what Uncle Lucky did, and of course he got stuckwith one of those prickly, stickery porcupine needles and it was anawful bother to get it out.

  And the fretful porcupine laughed and this made Billy Bunny veryangry, and he took his popgun out of his knapsack and hit theporcupine on the end of the nose with the cork bullet, and this madethe prickly animal run away.

  And after that the two rabbits started off again in the Luckymobileand by and by they came to a little village where they made lollypopsby the million. And the first thing Uncle Lucky did was to buy a bigbox full of them and put it in the back of the Luckymobile, "for,"said the kind old gentleman rabbit, "we may run across some boys andgirls and then we'll have something nice to give them."

  Wasn't that kind of him? But he was always doing nice things, wasdear, kind, generous Uncle Lucky.

  Well, after a while they came to some woods where a picnic was beingheld. There were lots and lots of children playing under the trees andthe women were sitting around talking and telling their troubles, andthe men were making whistles and bows and arrows for the boys andtelling how they used to shoot with them when they were little boys.

  "Helloa there, children!" cried Uncle Lucky, while Billy Bunny honkedthe horn. "Don't you want some lollypops?" And in about five hundredshort seconds there wasn't a lollypop left in that big box, and UncleLucky was a hero, or a Santa Claus, I don't remember which. And thenone big boy said, "Let's give three cheers for the two rabbits and onemore for the Luckymobile."

  And you never heard such a noise in your life. One little boy got soexcited that he swallowed a raspberry lollypop and his mother had toreach down his throat and pull it out by the stick.

  "Now be good until I see you again," said the kind old gentlemanrabbit as he drove off, and by and by Billy Bunny saw something movingamong the trees.

  "What's that?" he said to his rabbit uncle. But before the oldgentleman rabbit could reply, a big stone hit one of the lamps on theautomobile and broke it to splintereens.

  "Stop that whoever you are!" shouted Billy Bunny. "If you do it againI'll shoot!" and he held his popgun up to his shoulder just like asoldier boy in battle.

  And if the little canary in my room doesn't wink at me all night sothat I can't hear the alarm clock in the morning, I'll tell youanother story.

  STORY XXIV.

  BILLY BUNNY AND DANNY BILLYGOAT.

  Well, my little canary bird didn't wink at me all night, as I fearedit might in the last story, and my alarm clock said "good morning" tome at half-past fourteen o'clock, so I got up in time, and here is thestory I wrote before I went out into the garden to eat raspberrieswith Robbie Redbreast.

  One evening as Uncle Lucky and Billy Bunny were driving along in theLuckymobile, who should they come across but a little billygoat namedDanny.

  He had a little beard that hung down from his chin and two littlehorns that stuck up from his head, and he was playing on a flute whilehe sat cross-legged on a stone by the roadside. And when he saw ourtwo small friends in their machine, he began to play:

  It's not so far to the twinkle star In the little white boat of sleep. So list to my tune, like a breeze in June, Where the honeysuckles creep.

  Over the sky, way up high, In the little white boat of sleep. Ever so far to the twinkle star Way up in the sky blue deep.

  "Where did you learn that lullaby," asked kind Uncle Lucky, brushing atear from his eye, for he remembered just a little song his motherused to sing when he was a little boy rabbit, you know.

  "I don't know," answered Danny Goat. He pulled on his goatee andsmiled, and then he began again:

  "Up in the sky when the sun is high The white cloud boats go sailing by, And the summer breeze in the tall, tall trees Is singing a song the whole day long. And this is the song they sing: We ring the bell in the cool damp dell That grows on the lily's stalk, We bend the ferns in the river's turns And the tail of the great gray hawk; And the foamy spray in the big deep bay We blow on the great boardwalk."

  "That reminds me of Atlantic City," said Uncle Lucky. "Let's drivedown there and go for a swim."

  "Just the thing," said the little rabbit; "I've got my bathing suit inmy knapsack. I'm ready."

  So off they went, and by and by they came to the seashore. But therewasn't a hotel in sight, so of course they knew they had made amistake. They didn't care, especially Billy Bunny, for not very farfrom land was the big good-natured whale who had taken him for a saila long, long time ago. "There's my friend the Whaleship!" cried thelittle rabbit.

  And in the next story, if that whale doesn't swim away, I'll tell yousomething more about Billy Bunny and his kind Uncle Lucky.

  STORY XXV.

  BILLY BUNNY AND THE WHALE.

  You remember in the story before this that Billy Bunny and Uncle Luckywere at the seashore, and out a little ways from the land was thegood-natured Whale.

  Well, as soon as he saw the little rabbit he swam up to the beach andsaid "Hello." And then Billy Bunny introduced him to Uncle Lucky, andafter that the Whale said:

  "Don't you both want to go for a sail?" and as the old gentlemanrabbit had never been on a whaleship in his life, he said yes rightaway, and so did the little rabbit.

  Then the Whale pushed his tail up on the sand and the two littlerabbits hopped over it just like a bridge, and then they sat down, andaway went the whale with a swish of his tail that spattered the sprayall over the bay.

  "Goodness me!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, "I'll have to wipe offmy spectacles," and he took his polka-dot handkerchief from hispocket, and after that he tied it over his old wedding stovepipe hat,for he wasn't going to lose that hat, no siree, and a no sireemam, noteven if he had to tie the anchor to it. By and by, not so very long,they heard a sweet voice singing, so they looked everywhere, but theonly thing they saw was the big green ocean.

  "I wonder who is singing?" said Uncle Lucky, and he took his spyglassout of his waistcoat pocket and twisted it around and around until hecould see distinctly, which means plainly, you know.

  "There she is!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, and he got so excitedthat he looked through the wrong end of the spyglass and then he said,"No, she isn't!" for he couldn't see anything at all that way, youknow.

  "What did you see?" asked the little rabbit, and he pushed forwardUncle Lucky's old wedding stovepipe hat to keep it from falling overhis left ear.

  "A mermaid!" cried the old gentleman rabbit, and before he could turnthe spyglass the other way a lovely mermaid swam up and handed
him hercard, and on it was written in lovely purple ink:

  Miss Coral Seafoam, Oceanville, U. S. A.

  "Pleased to meet you," cried the old gentleman rabbit most politely."This is my nephew, William Bunny, Brier Patch, Old Snake FenceCorner, and my name is Mr. Lucky Lefthindfoot and I live inLettuceville, corner of Carrot and Lettuce streets," and then he triedto take off his hat, but he couldn't, for it was tied down tight, youremember, with his blue polka-dot handkerchief.

  And after that the mermaid asked them to visit her coral island, whereshe and her sisters sold coral beads and scarfpins. And in the nextstory you shall hear--well, I guess I won't tell you now, but let youwait and see.

  STORY XXVI.

  BILLY BUNNY AND THE MERMAID.

  Well, now we'll commence by saying that as soon as Billy Bunny andUncle Lucky reached the coral island, where the lovely mermaid lived,for she had asked them to call, you remember, they got off the Whale,and, after asking him to wait for them while they made a little visit,sat down on the sand, and pretty soon the mermaid brought them each alovely coral scarfpin, and the one she gave to Uncle Lucky was alittle image of herself and the one she gave to Billy Bunny was alittle fish.

  Then the little rabbit opened his knapsack and took out a lovely applepie and gave it to her. And she was so pleased that she ate it all up,and then she said, "I'll give you a lovely breast-pin made ofbeautiful coral for your mother, Mr. Billy Bunny, if you'll give meanother pie."

  So the little rabbit opened his knapsack and took out another fresh,juicy apple pie and placed the beautiful present for his mothercarefully in the knapsack, and after that he ate a lollypop and UncleLucky drank a bottle of ginger ale, and then they said good-by and gotaboard the Whaleship and sailed away.